On Football

You'd think after watching literally hundreds of hours of football I'd know what some of the positions are, some of the rules, and maybe the name of a play or have some sense of strategy. Nope. The average American ten year old girl has a more sophisticated appreciation of football than me. However, I have observed that ignorance is by no means an impediment to being a football fan. In fact, It may be a prerequisite. Fandom has only one test- for us, or against us. Beyond that, it is utterly egalitarian, embracing the stupid and ignorant alike as brothers. Therefore I believe it is my prerogative to observe in a completely objective manner that my team is better than your team. While I certainly am too rational to believe that this confers any particular advantage in status to me personally, I hope that some of you are stupid and irrational enough to believe that it does and act accordingly.